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[21 Dec 2005|11:16am] |
well, lifes shitty right now. my mom like flipped on me and my best friend at like 4 in the morning for being too loud and we werent even that loud. jenny got mad at me last night and said some pretty mean things... then today she finds this old thing on myspace and i dont even remember writing it, but i told some girl i wanted to kiss her and she's probably going to break up with me which sucks a lot, but well i guess you get what you deserve. god i havent felt like this in so long, i have just the fucking empty feeling that i havent felt in so long...i guess i deserve it. really feel like dying. well, i guess if she does break up with me i'm going to the military. i dont have much to live for without her and i dont really fucking care.
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(4 only has 3 months left to live | Was the change worth it?)
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| ok |
[13 Dec 2005|07:00pm] |
well the terms almost over. 2 more finals then im finished. i think i did well this term i had a bad dream last night that my girlfriend made an adult film with another girl, but this kid james was filming it and like talking to them as they were making it. and i was just so pissed off and sad and jenny was like 'well it's not a big deal, he just watched.' she also said she gave a copy to this kid mike...it was a bad dream, i remember like i kept telling her not to fucking touch me and in the dream like losing my head[figuratively]. weird. things with us have been good lately, we've been getting into little fights, but nothing out of the norm. things have been well the past few days, im looking foreward to going home. i wish i was going to the 7a7p show in binghamton.
oh yeah i got a 3.0 in Japanese. Score.
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(3 only has 3 months left to live | Was the change worth it?)
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[30 Nov 2005|07:52am] |
stayed awake, finished my 20 page paper. went to 8am class, got food. hung around until 11ish...got lunch... watched team america, funny movie hahah slept from 6pm to about 5am somethings wrong with me
i miss you-that could be it
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( Was the change worth it?)
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[29 Nov 2005|02:30am] |
well i decided i can write in here again because its good to have a fucking log of what you do with your life!
woke up at like 6am today beacuse i went to bed so early last night ate some breakfast, checked my mail. i got $10 from campbells for finding something in my soup. i had to print the pictures of it and send them to them, so yeah well see what happens went my poli sci class, and i have no idea what im going to write a 7 page paper on went to my core class, which is so fucking easy its not funny. went to japanese which is getting harder every day, but its so fun came back, procrastinated, then took a nap. missed hockey, aka, i wont play in the tournament this weekend. oh well. woke up at 12am to finish my 20 page paper.
this break was good.i missed jenny and the time we spent together was amazing. we had three sleepovers, and a lot of fun. we didnt do EVERYTHING i wanted to do, but i just felt like there was such little time! god damn time! we'll carve our name into a tree where i first fell in love with you when we get back. anyways, im just finishing my 20 pager tonight and then i might sleep. i might not. i dont know. i miss you a lot :'(
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( Was the change worth it?)
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